Week 1

Just so everyone knows that the beloved is not the only one who can post cute baby pictures:

Week 1 has come and gone.  The beloved is insisting this qualifies as a milestone, but I think I'll wait until one month to use that term.

In the past week, I have learned:

1)  Picture above is quite rare, because the squirt doesn't like her arms swaddled.  Apparently she had enough of that after 9 months.

2)  Girls are just as dangerous to change as boys.  After the following incident, I have acquired a face shield in case I don't get my hand up in time during another 10-inch fire-hose incident.

            Me (dripping tan-ish poop onto the changing table): "Well, I'm glad that happened before I took my gloves off."

            The beloved (with incredulous look on face): "Why do you glove up to change your own daughter's diaper?"

            Me (with equally incredulous look on face): "What part of 'ACK! She's spraying crap everywhere!' did you not catch?"

3)  Babies can, in fact, look just like their ultrasounds.  Fat cheeks + lots of hair + squished nose = cute baby.

4)  C-section babies are cuter.  No squished head that has to even out later.

5)  Never send a new father grocery shopping.  Babies absorb daddies' brains, too.  Corollary:  Instant coffee is lighter than ground.

6)  Skype-ing weddings can work quite well.

7)  The proper way to induce pooping is to change the diaper.

8)  Possibly the most important, new fathers should be prepared to deal with thoroughly irrational behavior and expectations.  The laws of non-contradiction no longer apply.  And the old saying "Insanity is doing the same thing twice expecting different results" can be ignored for the indefinite duration.

These are the important facts of my current situation.  If any are of assistance to any hypothetical soon-to-be first time fathers (you know who you are), then perhaps my suffering is not in vain.


Also, for the record, number 8, was approved by the beloved.