n. a way to make nurses jumpy.
A complete explanation is not currently available, but it would seem my adventure in Billings had some unexpected consequences. One, a 5-mile hike in low humidity with wind and not packing any water can, quite predictably, result in dehydration. Second, not having one's BID seizure medications during an unexpected overnight stay means two straight missed doses.
The first part caused me to wake up at 0230 with a spike through my chest. I've known some pretty good pain in my life, including a few good double over chest pains, but this was my first one not brought on by strenuous aerobic exercise. The last time I had pain like this was when I broke 1:15 for a 440 on the indoor track at TTU.
Having three kids and a SAHM wife, I felt that I should spring the money for the ER trip. I am quite glad I did.
An ER nurse hooked me up to an EKG and started taking my history. A second nurse set up to start an IV and draw labs. I told the first nurse that if she had any pressing questions for me, she should ask before the IV start, because I was probably going to pass out.
The second nurse was just about done with the IV when I started feeling fuzzy. Seriously, the needle was already out and she was just drawing the labs when I said the bed rail should probably be up. As she was busy, I pulled it up myself.
When the world went from black to two nurses moving rather quickly, I realized I probably should have told them I would also seize when I passed out. What came next, though, was a bit of a surprise.
Apparently, I get post ictal asystole. For lay people, that means when I seize, my heart stops. I never knew that, mostly because I never seized while hooked up to a heart monitor. It's also not guaranteed that I have done so every time. But for 7 seconds this morning, I had a flat line. Much longer, and I would have been in the middle of a code blue.
But hey, my chest pain went away!
Then it came back. Two nitroglycerin later, I had traded my chest pain for a headache. My cardiac enzymes were normal, but I was told I would be on telemetry and if anything wonky happened or I had a recurrence of chest pain that wasn't relieved by a single nitro, I was getting another flight to Billings.
Well, crap on toast.
My follow-up cardiacs were at 0930-ish. Per the PA, I drew my own labs, since I do not pass out when I have the needle. Unfortunately, I had to stick southpaw since my left AC was taken with the IV. I suck sticking lefty. It took me 3 sticks and a little digging, throughout which I stayed fully alert, just going to show that needles truly do not bother me as long as it's in my hands. This probably says something about me.
Follow-up cardiacs were normal, so I was discharged at 1200. The hospitalist doesn't think I really need follow-up, but I choose to err on the side of caution, so I will be following up with both my neurologist (who just told me I was free to not come back for two years), and possibly a cardiologist.
After all, I have three kids.
Saturday, February 14, 2015
What to bring to your root canal
1) A 3G tablet.
Not saying all this could have been avoided had I not been bored, but there is a slight chance that had I not thought, Gee, the dentist is only 1 hour away by foot and I have 2 before the appointment, the following mess may not have occurred. I had Crime and Punishment, but I can only read about half an hour of that at a time. Not wanting to get smooshed by a car, I asked around to see if there was a trail or something down the mountain. There is. Sadly, I didn't have...
2) A map.
Had I had a physical map, perhaps I would have found out that the guy at the airport that assured me the hiking trail loops back around had no clue what he was talking about. It does eventually get down the mountain, but the wrong side. This might not have been a big deal, had I remembered...
3) Rappelling gear.
Had I simply roped down the cliff instead of hiking 5 miles in the wrong direction, I would have come out a few blocks away. Instead, I hiked about an hour the wrong direction. This shouldn't have been a big deal, though, because I had a back-up plan. If it looked like hoofing it wasn't going to work, I could call a cab from the trail. Unfortunately, I didn't have...
4) A phone book.
With one of those, I would have known that the woman at the airport had given me the wrong number for the cab company. Instead of being able to call from the trail, I had to get to the bottom before I could call 20 minutes later, with only 50 minutes left until my appointment. Bringing us to...
5) Some semblance of an idea about taxis.
In Dallas, the Shieldmaiden and I waited all of about 5 minutes on our taxi. In Billings, there are apparently 2 companies. I called Yellow Cab. Ten minutes of waiting later, I called them again for an ETA. They told me it would be 40 minutes. Around this time is when Dr. Stevens' office called to say they were running ahead of time, and could get me in whenever I showed up. This is when I needed...
6) A phone with a better connection.
In the middle of several dropped calls outside Boothill Inn, I finally managed to reach the right number for City Cab. They told me they could get there in 20. 20 minutes later (now 10 minutes until my appointment) I called them back, at which point I found out that when I mentioned calling Yellow Cab to cancel, the City Cab dispatcher apparently heard me say to cancel her call.
At this point, I called to beg the dentist not to cancel my root canal.
The cab showed up, and I got in. It was then that I found out one should always have...
7) Cash.
Yeah, City Cab requires payment up front and hasn't yet invested in those smartphone attachments that read credit cards. Really, City Cab? They're like $40!
Luckily, Boothill Inn has an ATM.
I eventually got to my appointment...40 minutes late. That would be 1530 for anyone keeping score. In accordance with the trend for the day, the root canal took more than an hour and a half, because, oh, hey, my three-root molar has four...and is almost an inch long. I got the impression that he wasn't sure if he'd have files long enough.
As a result, my 1.5 hour procedure went long, letting out roughly 20 minutes after last call for my flight. Bringing me to the next item...
8) An overnight bag.
So, at this point I found myself stuck in Billings. With no mouth guard and given that the cause of the root canal was teeth grinding, one can imagine how I felt in the morning. More importantly, it turned out, was my lack of epilepsy medications.
However, all was not lost, for while standing, puzzled, in the dentist's parking lot, said dentist walked out. I mentioned I had missed my flight and had no clue what I was going to do. He recommended to Boothill Inn. Yes...that Boothill Inn. He also told me I could wait for the cab in the lobby. While I waited, the hygienist that assisted on my root canal came out and offered me a ride. She also gave me their WiFi password for the day: "rootcanal".
After pulling up to the Inn, she offered to wait to see if I could get a room, since there was a wrestling championship and lots of hotels were booked up. Yes, they had one room, but it was $140. Not about to pay that if I could avoid it, I asked if the hygenist would mind taking me over to my favorite cheap hotel by the hospital. She obliged, nut we only got about a minute away when her phone rang. The dentist had reserved that last room and covered half. We turned around, I walked into the
So a shout out to Dr. Stevens and staff. I got to the room, plopped down, and realized I did not have...
9) A tablet with a webcam.
So for the second time in two years, I missed a night with the girls. My Kindle does not have a webcam, so I couldn't even Skype.
The next morning, I hopped a shuttle to the airport 3 hours ahead of time (wasn't taking any chances). Well, actually, it turned out to be three and a half hours early, because my flight was delayed. Hour three was when I started contemplating grand theft airplane. I hear Cessna 162's are pretty self-explanatory. Fortunately, the plane showed up before I started looking for light planes with the keys left in them.
Finally, at 1230, I made it home. The girls were waiting at the airport. Lump ran out to meet me. We drove home, I grabbed some food and a shower and went to work for the afternoon, convinced my adventure was over.
Yeah, not so much.
To be continued...
Not saying all this could have been avoided had I not been bored, but there is a slight chance that had I not thought, Gee, the dentist is only 1 hour away by foot and I have 2 before the appointment, the following mess may not have occurred. I had Crime and Punishment, but I can only read about half an hour of that at a time. Not wanting to get smooshed by a car, I asked around to see if there was a trail or something down the mountain. There is. Sadly, I didn't have...
2) A map.
Had I had a physical map, perhaps I would have found out that the guy at the airport that assured me the hiking trail loops back around had no clue what he was talking about. It does eventually get down the mountain, but the wrong side. This might not have been a big deal, had I remembered...
3) Rappelling gear.
Had I simply roped down the cliff instead of hiking 5 miles in the wrong direction, I would have come out a few blocks away. Instead, I hiked about an hour the wrong direction. This shouldn't have been a big deal, though, because I had a back-up plan. If it looked like hoofing it wasn't going to work, I could call a cab from the trail. Unfortunately, I didn't have...
4) A phone book.
With one of those, I would have known that the woman at the airport had given me the wrong number for the cab company. Instead of being able to call from the trail, I had to get to the bottom before I could call 20 minutes later, with only 50 minutes left until my appointment. Bringing us to...
5) Some semblance of an idea about taxis.
In Dallas, the Shieldmaiden and I waited all of about 5 minutes on our taxi. In Billings, there are apparently 2 companies. I called Yellow Cab. Ten minutes of waiting later, I called them again for an ETA. They told me it would be 40 minutes. Around this time is when Dr. Stevens' office called to say they were running ahead of time, and could get me in whenever I showed up. This is when I needed...
6) A phone with a better connection.
In the middle of several dropped calls outside Boothill Inn, I finally managed to reach the right number for City Cab. They told me they could get there in 20. 20 minutes later (now 10 minutes until my appointment) I called them back, at which point I found out that when I mentioned calling Yellow Cab to cancel, the City Cab dispatcher apparently heard me say to cancel her call.
At this point, I called to beg the dentist not to cancel my root canal.
The cab showed up, and I got in. It was then that I found out one should always have...
7) Cash.
Yeah, City Cab requires payment up front and hasn't yet invested in those smartphone attachments that read credit cards. Really, City Cab? They're like $40!
Luckily, Boothill Inn has an ATM.
I eventually got to my appointment...40 minutes late. That would be 1530 for anyone keeping score. In accordance with the trend for the day, the root canal took more than an hour and a half, because, oh, hey, my three-root molar has four...and is almost an inch long. I got the impression that he wasn't sure if he'd have files long enough.
As a result, my 1.5 hour procedure went long, letting out roughly 20 minutes after last call for my flight. Bringing me to the next item...
8) An overnight bag.
So, at this point I found myself stuck in Billings. With no mouth guard and given that the cause of the root canal was teeth grinding, one can imagine how I felt in the morning. More importantly, it turned out, was my lack of epilepsy medications.
However, all was not lost, for while standing, puzzled, in the dentist's parking lot, said dentist walked out. I mentioned I had missed my flight and had no clue what I was going to do. He recommended to Boothill Inn. Yes...that Boothill Inn. He also told me I could wait for the cab in the lobby. While I waited, the hygienist that assisted on my root canal came out and offered me a ride. She also gave me their WiFi password for the day: "rootcanal".
After pulling up to the Inn, she offered to wait to see if I could get a room, since there was a wrestling championship and lots of hotels were booked up. Yes, they had one room, but it was $140. Not about to pay that if I could avoid it, I asked if the hygenist would mind taking me over to my favorite cheap hotel by the hospital. She obliged, nut we only got about a minute away when her phone rang. The dentist had reserved that last room and covered half. We turned around, I walked into the
So a shout out to Dr. Stevens and staff. I got to the room, plopped down, and realized I did not have...
9) A tablet with a webcam.
So for the second time in two years, I missed a night with the girls. My Kindle does not have a webcam, so I couldn't even Skype.
The next morning, I hopped a shuttle to the airport 3 hours ahead of time (wasn't taking any chances). Well, actually, it turned out to be three and a half hours early, because my flight was delayed. Hour three was when I started contemplating grand theft airplane. I hear Cessna 162's are pretty self-explanatory. Fortunately, the plane showed up before I started looking for light planes with the keys left in them.
Finally, at 1230, I made it home. The girls were waiting at the airport. Lump ran out to meet me. We drove home, I grabbed some food and a shower and went to work for the afternoon, convinced my adventure was over.
Yeah, not so much.
To be continued...
Friday, February 6, 2015
Texts from my wife II
[Dot] salted [Lump]'s head.
Your daughter just washed her sister's hair in Iodine. And the carpet. And their shirts.
Success! Large quantity of pee made it in the toilet! In other news, I'd advise not going in sock or bare feet inside for a while.
You know...They were trying to be helpful. When you leave your scrubs laying 2ft from the laundry hamper, the girls "helped" me by putting your pants into the tub like I had their diapers. In the tub that just drained bleach water.
[Lump] just gave [Squirt] a fist bump.
[Dot] said the corner of her sandwich was a rocking chair, and was rocking it back and forth. I think she's developing an imagination.
Me to [Dot]: "Crackers don't have legs. You have to have legs to stand up."
[Dot] told me she was "listening to the block's belly" with my stethoscope.
Toddler + Puppy + Splenda = snowstorm in the kitchen.
With picture of half-dressed girls sitting together on blanket. They are scooting across the floor singing "Row Your Boat."
With picture of [Lump] in collapsible storage container. I told them to put all the toys in boxes. Guess [Lump] thinks she's a toy.
[Lump] to me when I tried to straighten out her straw: "No, don't touch! You have hot coffee!"
And [Dot] calls Sunny Delight "Sunday juice."
[Dot]'s eyes crossing while she watched the syrup drip from her hair to her nose was pretty cute.
So the girls didn't like how [Squirt] looked. So they colored his head & (covered) butt orange.
Your middle child is "washing dishes", wearing nothing, yelling, "Rock On!"
Negotiating with [Dot] that her vitamins are done "cooking" and if she doesn't eat them, they'll "burn."
[Dot] to me: "I not child! You child! I parent!"
Discussing ages. "[Dot]'s 3. [Squirt]'s 0. Mommy...*pause*...Mommy's not 3."
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