Yes, I am a horrible parent an just now got around to reading my first full book to the dot. For the record, there were a few abortive attempts prior to this.
For my first selection, I went with that classic of all time, Mr. Happy by Roger Hargreaves.
Who remembers this one? Show of hands
My original attempts had been stymied by the dot's ill-timed crying fits that always seemed to coincide with reading. Apparently, finishing a good four ounces necessitates immediately -- and indeed, sometimes concurrently -- jettisoning an equal amount. This would seem to be a traumatic experience due to the inherent attachment the dot has to her processed food.
It would seem that the proper way to read to a baby is to push through the screaming until she passes out from hypoxia, then continue reading to her unconscious form.
That might be a slight exaggeration.
See, she's not actually blue
It is, however, a good example of cooperative parenting. One parent must hold the dot and the book while the other parent maintains proper pacifier placement.
Addendum: Another technique which has since proven effective is to place the dot on her stomach. This not only eliminates the necessity of a partner, but also provides an opportunity for neck exercise.
Addendum: Another technique which has since proven effective is to place the dot on her stomach. This not only eliminates the necessity of a partner, but also provides an opportunity for neck exercise.
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