Friday, January 11, 2013

The end is near



Well, with the end of the world approaching quickly, it is past time to prepare. The great problem with preparation is, however, figuring out what to prepare for. After watching trends this past year, I have the answer:

An animal uprising.

It started in July, when a Rosenwald, MD woman was kicked in the face by a home invading deer.

In August, a Boy Scout troop leader was attacked by a beaver. Within a month, another two beaver attacks occurred, one on an 83 year old woman, another on two young girls. This demonstrates that the normally cute animals are exhibiting classic predatorial instinct in picking off the old and very young.

On the same day as the Boy Scout beaver attack, another disturbing case indicated that animals are now developing cross-species cooperation as a fox and a boar helped kangaroos escape from the Berlin zoo.

And in the most recent attack, a deer in the throes of the nicotine fits held up two men for their pack of cigarettes.

So how does one prepare for the apocalypse by way of wild animals?


Designed by Troy Hurtubise, the Grizzly Suit was made to withstand assault by anything.  He is marketing some of the more proprietary technologies to the military, law enforcement, emergency services and aerospace industries. 

If only Timothy Treadwell had had one. And also not been an idiot.

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