Monday, December 28, 2020

Christmas with the Quirks

Once again, my Christmas and Christmas Eve were spent with my faithful light-up pink flamingo lawn ornament and Charlie Brown Christmas tree.  I really should name the flamingo, given that I’ve spent more Christmases with it than with my family...by probably 3-4 times.  The nights’ soundtrack was provided by Lindsey Stirling and Piano Guys on Pandora, since I sadly could not get jouluradio.fi radio to stream.  I made up for it by streaming Raskasta Joulua IV on Pandora, though.


It’s a pretty bleak way to spend Christmas, but fortunately, “A Grander Snuffy’s Christmas” had dropped, which brightened up my Christmas Eve. The Political Orphanage has become my podcast of choice for basically it’s entire existence. It is, as the name suggests, politically-oriented, but unlike the Red Team/Blue Team personality- and identity-driven soundbite shoutfest that most of the political world consists of, the Orphanage actually engages in long-format discussion of not only policies, but also underlying worldviews and epistemology. It is also humorous. Very, very humorous. Much of said humor revolving around horses, which I can only assume is an Oklahoma thing. The third Christmas special was once again “sponsored” by Snuffy’s off Route 44, “Where everything tastes better...on a horse.” While much of the humorous “ad copy” has--sadly--fallen by the wayside for the duration of election season, the team made up for it with this year’s Christmas episode. And if the minimum wage ghost of this year’s Christmas Carol did not rise to the genius of the unlicensed angel Wonderful Life or if the Horse Nog Christmas Cards didn’t quite finish as strong as the review of the Nutcracker on Ice (with horses)...well those were a heck of a high bar, anyway. Plus it definitely won on sheer quantity, clocking in at over an hour...as long as the previous two specials combined. During a brief monologue towards the end, Heaton brought up that George Noory always has live programs on holidays for those spending them away from family, which I had completely forgotten, so I tuned in briefly on Christmas night to get a second fix of quirky individuals. I don’t listen often now, as there are no local stations carrying Coast to Coast AM, but when I switched to thirds for the last year or so in Tennessee, I listened fairly often. For those who are unfamiliar, Coast to Coast AM is that supernatural/conspiracy theory radio program you hear in the background of every movie scene where someone is driving across the desert at night. It’s the show whose guests will tell you everything from who really killed JFK and which crystal to use to deter alien abduction. The callers come off as chronic substance users and/or mentally ill. Yet I greatly admire George Noory. It’s always impressed me how he can listen to all the crackpot theories from both his guests and callers with a straight face. The only time I ever saw him cut off a guest was the guy who called in the night after the Sandy Hook shooting claiming it was a red flag operation. Even more impressive is when he has two guests on in one show back to back with mutually exclusive theories, yet still gives each of them a completely credulous interview. He truly embodies respect and dignity, and I just do not understand how he does it. All in all, there are worse ways to spend a Christmas. Sure, it’d be nice to have a job where I spend Christmas Eve assembling children’s presents and knocking back a couple mugs of Christmas cheer, but it was nice to spend my nights listening to a couple men who display a level of grace that I really wish I could attain.


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