Crime in the big city

So, apparently, we have some of the smartest criminals in the world up here.  They’re so sneaky smart, they don’t commit crimes.

After a coworker expressed relief that her husband’s car door was open, otherwise the total stranger she found taking shelter in there would have died of hypothermia, I found myself a wee bit dumbfounded.  I mean, I think I’d have another reaction like, “What the [redacted] are you doing in my car!?!?!”  She did express relief that she and her husband had stopped leaving their keys in the ignition a few weeks ago.

This is the second time I have found myself truly baffled by the sense of security around here.  A few weeks into my tenure, I overheard a conversation about a nurse who had accidentally locked herself out.  Another nurse replied that she herself no longer knew where the key to her own door was.

At any rate, I did an unscientific crime history of the town over coffee this morning.

Me:  “So everyone leaves their cars running in the winter.  Has there ever been a car theft?”

Coworker 1:  “Not that I know of.”

Coworker 2:  “Well, it would be kind of hard, since everyone knows what everyone else drives.”

Me:  “Ah.  Okay, everyone leaves their doors unlocked.  Has there ever been a break-in?”

Coworker 1:  “Not that I know of.”

Coworker 2:  “Wait, remember a few years ago?  That girl that broke into a couple houses?”

Coworker 1:  “Oh, that’s right.  They caught her, though.”

Coworker 2:  “There’s lots of break-ins up at St. Marie, though.”

Coworker 1:  “Well, yeah, but that’s St. Marie.”

There is the occasional bar fight, and these days there aren’t any rifle racks in the rear windows of trucks (they’re under the back seats, though, and everyone knows it).  Other than that, crime is non-existent.  For now.  Williston was a quiet area, too, until they found oil.  There’s none around here, but the Bakken pipeline should be coming through nearby.  That said, the plan is apparently to build a work-camp and keep the workers as far away from town as possible.  Plus, it should only be for a couple years.

Growing up, I remember when my parents finally started locking their door.  They did, however, leave the living room window unsecured so that if they forgot the key, one of us kids could go on through.

‘Round here, they haven’t even gotten that far yet.

All that said, I would point out to those that might decide to take advantage of the townspeople’s trust in their fellow man:  at 57.7%, this state has the third highest rate of gun ownership in the country, plus at a population of 2500, everyone knows who lives in the house next door to them.