1) A 3G tablet.
Not saying all this could have been avoided had I not been bored, but there is a slight chance that had I not thought, Gee, the dentist is only 1 hour away by foot and I have 2 before the appointment, the following mess may not have occurred. I had Crime and Punishment, but I can only read about half an hour of that at a time. Not wanting to get smooshed by a car, I asked around to see if there was a trail or something down the mountain. There is. Sadly, I didn't have...
2) A map.
Had I had a physical map, perhaps I would have found out that the guy at the airport that assured me the hiking trail loops back around had no clue what he was talking about. It does eventually get down the mountain, but the wrong side. This might not have been a big deal, had I remembered...
3) Rappelling gear.
Had I simply roped down the cliff instead of hiking 5 miles in the wrong direction, I would have come out a few blocks away. Instead, I hiked about an hour the wrong direction. This shouldn't have been a big deal, though, because I had a back-up plan. If it looked like hoofing it wasn't going to work, I could call a cab from the trail. Unfortunately, I didn't have...
4) A phone book.
With one of those, I would have known that the woman at the airport had given me the wrong number for the cab company. Instead of being able to call from the trail, I had to get to the bottom before I could call 20 minutes later, with only 50 minutes left until my appointment. Bringing us to...
5) Some semblance of an idea about taxis.
In Dallas, the Shieldmaiden and I waited all of about 5 minutes on our taxi. In Billings, there are apparently 2 companies. I called Yellow Cab. Ten minutes of waiting later, I called them again for an ETA. They told me it would be 40 minutes. Around this time is when Dr. Stevens' office called to say they were running ahead of time, and could get me in whenever I showed up. This is when I needed...
6) A phone with a better connection.
In the middle of several dropped calls outside Boothill Inn, I finally managed to reach the right number for City Cab. They told me they could get there in 20. 20 minutes later (now 10 minutes until my appointment) I called them back, at which point I found out that when I mentioned calling Yellow Cab to cancel, the City Cab dispatcher apparently heard me say to cancel her call.
At this point, I called to beg the dentist not to cancel my root canal.
The cab showed up, and I got in. It was then that I found out one should always have...
7) Cash.
Yeah, City Cab requires payment up front and hasn't yet invested in those smartphone attachments that read credit cards. Really, City Cab? They're like $40!
Luckily, Boothill Inn has an ATM.
I eventually got to my appointment...40 minutes late. That would be 1530 for anyone keeping score. In accordance with the trend for the day, the root canal took more than an hour and a half, because, oh, hey, my three-root molar has four...and is almost an inch long. I got the impression that he wasn't sure if he'd have files long enough.
As a result, my 1.5 hour procedure went long, letting out roughly 20 minutes after last call for my flight. Bringing me to the next item...
8) An overnight bag.
So, at this point I found myself stuck in Billings. With no mouth guard and given that the cause of the root canal was teeth grinding, one can imagine how I felt in the morning. More importantly, it turned out, was my lack of epilepsy medications.
However, all was not lost, for while standing, puzzled, in the dentist's parking lot, said dentist walked out. I mentioned I had missed my flight and had no clue what I was going to do. He recommended to Boothill Inn. Yes...that Boothill Inn. He also told me I could wait for the cab in the lobby. While I waited, the hygienist that assisted on my root canal came out and offered me a ride. She also gave me their WiFi password for the day: "rootcanal".
After pulling up to the Inn, she offered to wait to see if I could get a room, since there was a wrestling championship and lots of hotels were booked up. Yes, they had one room, but it was $140. Not about to pay that if I could avoid it, I asked if the hygenist would mind taking me over to my favorite cheap hotel by the hospital. She obliged, nut we only got about a minute away when her phone rang. The dentist had reserved that last room and covered half. We turned around, I walked into the
So a shout out to Dr. Stevens and staff. I got to the room, plopped down, and realized I did not have...
9) A tablet with a webcam.
So for the second time in two years, I missed a night with the girls. My Kindle does not have a webcam, so I couldn't even Skype.
The next morning, I hopped a shuttle to the airport 3 hours ahead of time (wasn't taking any chances). Well, actually, it turned out to be three and a half hours early, because my flight was delayed. Hour three was when I started contemplating grand theft airplane. I hear Cessna 162's are pretty self-explanatory. Fortunately, the plane showed up before I started looking for light planes with the keys left in them.
Finally, at 1230, I made it home. The girls were waiting at the airport. Lump ran out to meet me. We drove home, I grabbed some food and a shower and went to work for the afternoon, convinced my adventure was over.
Yeah, not so much.
To be continued...
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