Christmas Card 2013

Most people may think this a bit late, but since my family is celebrating Christmas today, I think it’s fine.

I’ve been a wee bit behind in blog posts. Fortunately, as I only have one regular reader of this blog, and about 6 who drop in for the moronic screenplays, so as long as I get the annual Spants episode out by the first week of November, I call a year a success.

Frankly, since August I have had better things to do with my time.

Since moving to this frozen wasteland, I have had precisely one day in which I did not see both of my children, and that was when they took a trip to Billings to get the Dot’s skull evaluated. Coming off a job in which I didn’t see my complete family for 3 or more days at a time (despite living in the same house as them), that’s saying something.

Speaking of the increasingly expensive skull, the jury is still out. We hope to get some answers by February. A dramatic shift in form was followed by an explosion of development (including an apparent grasp of Universal Precautions illustrated below), and we hope that this indicates that a surgery will fix the developmental delays the Dot has long suffered. Fortunately, our insurance here curb stomps the crappy coverage from my last job.

Speaking of juries, our Christmas time has been plagued by a counter-suit and discovery motion from the city of Ludowici involving the death of Cam, our beloved ’96 Toyota, at the hands of their police chief. Twenty-two pages of stuff they think they need to know about us, including how often we have “conjugal fellowship.” Anyone who really thinks they need to know that can go conjugate themselves, as far as I’m concerned.

On to more pleasant subjects, the Lump has developed a personality this year, and the ability to say “creepy clown” when she gets to “C” in the ABC book (seriously, the picture reminds me of the clown from IT). It does come out more like “eeky lou,” but I think it’s cute. She’s also walking and learning to climb, which frankly, may be less pleasant to deal with than lawyers, but such is the growing process. She also seems to share her Daddy’s fascination with all things alien.

And in a related note, Monday will tell us whether or not we have to buy a whole new set of baby clothes, or if the Pepto Bismol explosion will be enough.

Along with the newest addition to our family came the first subtraction. We bid farewell to our idiot beagles Fritz and Kraut on the way to our new home in Montana. It hurt, but they both found homes within 2 weeks, courtesy of the Munising, MI animal shelter. I hope we see them on our vacation there next year.

To borrow from a popular comedian, the one word I would use to sum up my family’s life is: interesting.