Oil

Typically speaking, I avoid political discussions here.  Yesterday, however, I spent half a day's wages filling up The Flying Dodgeman.  Then, while reading the news, I come across this interesting fact:

The US exports more oil that it imports.

Which raises the following question:

WHY THE CRAP DO WE IMPORT ANY?!?!?!?!

Why don't we just use what we have and tell the rest of OPEC to go to a very hot place.  Given the number of them in deserts, they should make the transition quite well.

I've thought about it and cannot come up with a single way that fact can be true without meaning that we produce more than enough for our own use.  So here's my plan:

1)  Restart all bituminous and lignite coal mining operations.  Yes, both of those are crappy coals compared to anthracite, but they contain higher amount of volatiles that can be converted to coal oil, using mechanisms and plants that are already in place.  This will have the added benefit of putting whole towns back into financial stability, taking strain off the government's social expenditures.

2)  Build more coal oil plants near the lignite and bituminous mines.  The technology has been around since the 70's (per my organic chemistry professor who helped develop it).  A little more interest might make it more efficient.

3)  Convert, based on location, coal burning power stations to coal oil.  Leave the ones near anthracitic coal mines as coal burners, since anthracite produces fewer emissions.  The ones near the lower grade mines can burn oil, which will burn cleaner than the coal it comes from.  This will result in less crude needing to be converted to fuel power stations, and it can be dumped into the general fuel supply.

4)  Stop importing oil.  I will vote for Cthulhu himself if he would stand up in a campaign speech and say that. Preferably followed by a big middle finger.  Or tentacle.  As I remember it, Lovecraft was awfully vague on anatomy.  With an apparent bigger supply than demand, we can set our own price for crude and drop our gas prices to a buck-seventy-five.  This is of course a sad statement from one who grew up with sub-one-dollar gas.

5)  Keep making ethanol, just make it from non-cash crops.  If it's got sugar, it can be fermented.  I have a butt-load of kudzu that's free for the taking.  There's sugar everywhere for the fermentation and distillation.  Come to think of it, I may start doing that myself.

6)  Tap every landfill for flammable gas.  There's a butt-load produced every day that gets wasted.  And methane is clean-burning.

7)  Tap every McDonalds and Burger King in the country.  How much grease is produced in this countries fast food industry?  Clean it up and dump it in oil-burning power plants.  So the local power plant smells like fries?  At least it increases the gas supply.

8)  Take all the surplus we had (keeping in mind that we apparently already have one) and replenish our strategic supplies.  Or continue exporting and charge the rest of the world $100 a barrel like they've been doing.  Or even better, under-cut them and drive the prices down for the whole flippin' world.  Pay down the national debt.  Or cut my taxes.

My oil plan.